Tag Archives: TEARS

…no, it fucking wasn’t…

Says the recently destroyed Retriever owner, after I opened a conversation window and asked for a 5 Mil bounty. It’s always nice to get a bounty from someone when they are only a corp/game member for a few days, and have such an expensive ship.

Then to remind them of the first rule of EVE. Trust isn’t for sale.

[01:23:08] Gilbert Hamilton > Can I help you, Sir?

Note: I opened the convo, lately I just like starting out the communication as if they started talking to me, first. Shrug.

[01:23:10] Tanniss Majere > your cool picking on brand new players
[01:23:15] Gilbert Hamilton > Brand new? Not really.
[01:23:22] Tanniss Majere > 2 weeks
[01:23:24] Gilbert Hamilton > Nice ship. Current market value has it at well over a few million.
[01:23:27] Tanniss Majere > ill give u money
[01:23:34] Gilbert Hamilton > 5 million. 10 seconds.
[01:23:39] Tanniss Majere > k
[01:23:45] Tanniss Majere > promise u will leave?
[01:23:48] Gilbert Hamilton > naturally.
[01:23:56] Gilbert Hamilton > You can contact my CEO if you wish. 5 seconds.
[01:24:09] Tanniss Majere > there
[01:24:10] Gilbert Hamilton > Thank you, sir.
[01:24:18] Gilbert Hamilton > That covers the ammo.
[01:24:22] Tanniss Majere > yeah im done with this game
[01:24:29] Tanniss Majere > just started woiw
[01:24:31] Tanniss Majere > thanks
[01:24:33] Gilbert Hamilton > Never trust anyone.
[01:24:36] Gilbert Hamilton > Welcome to EVE
[01:24:37] Tanniss Majere > now i have nothing
[01:24:39] Tanniss Majere > no ship
[01:24:41] Tanniss Majere > no money
[01:24:49] Gilbert Hamilton > You do. your ship was insured.
[01:25:05] Tanniss Majere > no it fucking wasnt
[01:25:07] Tanniss Majere > yeah 40%
[01:25:18] Gilbert Hamilton > Lesson learned, I suppose. Fly safe, sir!
[01:25:24] Tanniss Majere > fuck u i hope u die
[01:25:29] Gilbert Hamilton > Will do.
[01:25:30] Gilbert Hamilton > o/

Gil’s Tip #2

Tip two, because I assume I’ve tipped before. I’m a good tipper. Forget what the waitress said. In today’s roam with my alt, I came across a Catalyst and decided to take it out via suicide. The story follows.

[00:17:48] Cp Markus > lols
[00:24:39] Cp Markus > how long does it take to blow up a pod???
[00:25:59] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > **posted killmail**
[00:26:05] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > dunno, I just blew one up in short order.
[00:26:31] Cp Markus > lol bragging about newb kills is for pussies
[00:26:43] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > It’s just easier when getting my sec status lowered.
[00:26:44] Cercis InoAtari > vaginas? where?
[00:26:46] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > Also, he wasn’t a newb.
[00:27:00] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > I kid. OF COURSE HE WAS!
[00:27:27] Cp Markus > lol says the dude hiding in a station lols
[00:28:05] Cp Markus > hey he’s back out here in another catalyst lols
[00:28:53] Cp Markus > I’ll give you 20 mil if you can do it again lol
[00:29:15] EPIC Immortal’s > ya come out now bro

This was the guy just took the catalyst from

[00:29:39] Cp Markus > Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt vs epic…… hmmm my money is on epic
[00:32:09] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > what system?
[00:32:12] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > erm belt.
[00:32:26] Cp Markus > the first one
[00:33:26] Cp Markus > lols target jammers eh?

[00:33:35] Cp Markus > hold on he’s on his way

Apparently this Cp guy, who’s been around since early 2011, doesn’t know which chat window to type into…
He targets me with his ship. A drake. Then proceeds to get himself slain by CONCORD because he decided to just up and shoot me. I suppose he could have mde the mistake, but I’d like to think betting on stupid paid off this time.

[00:34:14] Cp Markus > hmmm……

Yeap, it would seem, it does.

[00:35:03] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > lol. CP Markus just got himself CONCORDED
[00:35:20] Cp Markus > dont bother me lol
[00:35:50] Cp Markus > ship for ship
[00:37:42] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > Oh, CP….
[00:37:56] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > –I return in the newb ship, take his stuff, then link his stuff in local– etc…
[00:37:58] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > thanks for the stuff.
[00:38:13] Cp Markus > lol its cool, just figured you can have a merry christmas
[00:38:18] Cp Markus > i can get it back no problem
[00:39:37] Cp Markus > you know whats really funny…. is watching my alliance slam you (:

Oh, alliance chat. Good. I open a chat convo. Hoping to gather more tears, and hoping for a wardec on this shit lazy empty corp I am in, before I jump out of it into another nullsec corp I am going to try to sneak into. (An earlier chat convo was had about that, prior to this stuff in local. Here’s to my next target.)

Chat Convo…

[00:40:33] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > o/
[00:40:41] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > Don’t bother salvage – it’s gone too.
[00:40:49] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > But I can contract the fields to you if you’d like.
[00:40:54] Cp Markus > lol you think i care????
[00:41:00] Cp Markus > hmmm nah
[00:41:06] Cp Markus > I’ve got plenty lol
[00:41:12] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > You’re so vain. You probably think this song is about you.
[00:41:16] Cp Markus > scammers and pussies dont bother me
[00:41:33] Cp Markus > its a game bro, i was gonna lose that drake and that shit anyways
[00:41:55] Cp Markus > i just went ship for ship. but you scooted out like a bitch, so its all good (:
[00:41:58] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > of course you were. as I was going to lose my cat and the sec status. ;)
[00:42:27] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > Well, the folks at TC-26 say thank you for your time, energy, and most of all… tears.
[00:42:40] Cp Markus > lol no tears for queers.
[00:43:01] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > So you’re saying you’re not crying, or you’re gay? I don’t understand, but do have the strangest erection.
[00:43:43] Cp Markus > im definitely not a queer… lols,
[00:44:07] Gilbert Hamilton’s Alt > Darn. Well fly safe then. o/

Catalyst and Sec Status

I’ve taken to pausing Gilbert’s skill queue for a little while; I am stuffing into an alt’s queue the skills necessary to make faster kills with a suicide catalyst. If you recall, that character is largely my corporation infiltration character. This is fine. He’s still in this ghost-town of a corp. Which really serves him well, imho, because I’m ruining my sec status so I can find other corporations that would like to help a “new pirate” on his way, etc.

Hoping, all the while, I gather the tears and maybe even a corp warpdec too.

How many zeros are in the number 70 million?

Apparently, not very many. Just a pastebin convo I found off of the subreddit /r/eve. I have to say, the confusion created by this guy who was trying to scam the scammer is a perfect example of how easy it is to gather tears in this game. Not only that, but the scammer really messed up when he said he works for CCP. That’s a definite “no” in our playbook. You just don’t do that. Like how you don’t can-bait in newbie systems. Or play WoW.

The idea of putting up the same ship, renamed, to confuse the guy is a really good one and one I am going to have to tinker with, later.


An update on the market fun, and pirate acts

Well, not pirate acts, per se, but just tear gathering. I had been running low on my supply of tears, too. This weekend proved to net me a few tears, but nothing more than a rage-quite from the MR I was chasing and the further realization that low-sec is fucking empty. I think I ventured toward the Tribute area, in my shiney Dramiel, just asking to get blown up. Nothing. Nobody but a few people I would catch by gates, going the other way, etc.

Hell, hardly any rats!

But I did scan a bit back in the Sinq region. I had to head back; I found someone had fulfilled my entire purchase order for an item I make about a million on with each resale. So, I figured I would flip those items and scan. That MR shot at my vigil, while I was doing the usual thing. He was in a Thorax, and a Raven friend was nearby. In a different corporation, however. So the Raven could do nothing but watch.

The MR only shot at me after I decided to target him. He had auto-target on still ( mistake, imho ) and shot at me. He warped off. I warped off and returned with the Dram. Finding him again, I started to burn towards him and noticed he was indeed fit well. So I returned with the Vexor before I made a stupid move and went into a gun fight with a knife. I still need some work on the fitting for the Dram. Anyway – I returned. Opened convo with him, and he logs off.

14 minutes later, he returns.

Sees me and the Raven friend still in his mission.

Then logs off again. Not to return for the hour or so I remained on.

Sigh. So close.

On the market updates – Sinking the stored PLEX into the market via a nice sale really helped. I could buy back that PLEX now and have a couple hundred million more, but I keep sinking it back in and am finding a few more regions where the locals seem to really enjoy some items. Either selling them to me because they don’t feel like moving them to other regions, or buying them because they need them. As always, if you have any regions you’d like to see me selling at, feel free to send me a note.

I was recognized, too, back in the Sinq region. Someone I had given some ninja-advice to a while back, apparently. I didn’t remember them. But they were kind and thankful. Though stating they were back to mission running. Which is fine, that’s their thing. I do it sometimes, too. Usually when I have Minecraft open in another window. ;)

And a productive weekend was had by all

Managed to log in for a while this weekend, and enjoyed myself quite a bit. I was low on funds again and so I traveled back to Dodixie. In Agral, there were five bookmarks discovered within a few minute’s time and I was off to steal. It went well, especially when the runners simply abandoned stuff. Hot tip: That doesn’t piss me off. Thank you.

A few tears were had, but nothing worth pasting here, really. Corp chat was quiet.

A friend of mine recently got back into the game, so I spent some time with him and some rifter pvp practice. Think he enjoyed it. I contracted some stolen goods over to him to help, too.

Culmination – the part I enjoy about corp theft

The corporation my alt is involved in (which never asked for API details, by the way) is starting to realize/fret over the missing corp hangar items.

The CEO was “gone” for a couple of weeks, Incarna went live, hubbub ensued as expected and obvious everywhere else, and now the CEO is back. Having reupped his subscription, he logs in to find an innocent evemail from me, asking why the corp hangar was empty as far as I could see.

He and the other “top guy” in the corp stated that the corp was on double super lock down. Or something technical like that. The CEO states he couldn’t find the log, but could see into the personal hangars and so knows who it was. (Funny – my personal hangar for the infilt alt is empty, having contracted everything to Gilbert within 30 seconds of stealing it all.)

Either way – the moment they point fingers at me is the moment I ransom the items back, release a “PSA” about using API checks, fuel my ship with the collected tears, and move on.

Good times ahead.

Self destruct, for 25 million

While I have very little experience killing Drakes, solo or in groups, I feel the “win” in this failed killmail was not only the ransom, but the self destruct. This scan was just the first of a few of them; however, the length of time I spent at this drake meant the other scans were empty of mission runners by the time I arrived at them.

No worries. The tears from this chat with Tyler Aurilen are plenty, for the night. Not to mention the 25 million ISK ransoms. Just under the price of a new Drake, and I felt I got out of him about the most I could. (An interesting aspect of ransoms. If I were to ask too much, and then “barter”, I feel I lose credibility overall.) Funny thing was, while I said I had a bunch of ammo (I did), I couldn’t break down his shields.

He wasn’t going to die to my guns. It was all the chat, and the arrival of the Ninjas to the scene that helped him blow up his own ship, I think. The ninjas arrived and started filling up his overview with all sorts of extra targets, though he wasn’t shooting, I am certain the appearance, “suddenly” of a bunch of us, helped.

It’s what we do.

[01:44:22] Gilbert Hamilton > sir, you shot at me first.
[01:44:35] Tyler Aurilen > you nija my shit
[01:44:45] Gilbert Hamilton > it was my loot to take. sorry.
[01:44:45] Tyler Aurilen > i shot when you went red
[01:44:59] Gilbert Hamilton > I have plenty of ammo, time, and web. cap stable. are you in this for the duration, or what?
[01:45:11] Tyler Aurilen > what u want
[01:45:32] Gilbert Hamilton > I would be happy to leave, and assign to you a permit to leave objects in space for 24 hours for a fee of 25,000,000
[01:46:13] Tyler Aurilen > ok stop shootin and ill send it to you
[01:46:22] Gilbert Hamilton > 15 seconds
[01:46:39] Gilbert Hamilton > ten
[01:47:02] Gilbert Hamilton > that was only 25,000. please send 25,000,000
[01:47:49] Tyler Aurilen > ok fine i will put a flag on you and that was 25mill
[01:48:10] Gilbert Hamilton > flag?
[01:49:27] Gilbert Hamilton > if you eject your ship, I will leave you and your ship and pod alone.
[01:49:46] Tyler Aurilen > how can i trust u
[01:49:57] Gilbert Hamilton > let me jet my ammo.
[01:50:15] Gilbert Hamilton > the rest is in my guns.
[01:50:38] Tyler Aurilen > ok when yor 200 shots are up maby
[01:50:44] Gilbert Hamilton > one gun left.
[01:50:57] Gilbert Hamilton > there we go
[01:51:19] Tyler Aurilen > why ejeckt ill leave if thats what u want
[01:51:23] Gilbert Hamilton > yes
[01:51:51] Gilbert Hamilton > no, eject then I know i can trust you I mean
[01:52:22] Gilbert Hamilton > you don’t have to leave.
[01:52:39] Gilbert Hamilton > just eject and I will refund your 25,000 and assign contract to you for leaving cans out into space.
[01:52:54] Gilbert Hamilton > 15 secons.
[01:52:57] Gilbert Hamilton > seconds*
[01:53:12] Gilbert Hamilton > ten
[01:53:26] Gilbert Hamilton > taking my ammo back.
[01:54:30] Tyler Aurilen > self destruct
[01:54:53] Gilbert Hamilton > how much longer?
[01:55:11] Tyler Aurilen > sec
[01:55:18] Tyler Aurilen > 29sec
[01:55:57] Gilbert Hamilton > thanks. :)

Tiny pirate brains…

For the win!

[19:29:34] EVE System > Channel changed to Caretyn Local Channel
[19:46:31] Cartesis > lloool “confiscated ore – do not steal”
[19:46:39] Cartesis > do you really think I’m a noob ?
[19:47:25] Cartesis > you make me laugh by going away and coming back
[19:47:38] Cartesis > like I don’t know you’re waiting to destroy me XD
[19:49:11] Cartesis > so pity
[19:49:26] Cartesis > you don’t have what you’re waiting for so you destroy the can
[19:49:41] Cartesis > tiny pirate brain

Well well well…

I was paid by a 3rd party, double blind, to infiltrate New Haven Enterprises and gather intelligence related to a possible war-declaration coming their way. It’s not the first time I’ve been hired to do this type of work. Which is fine by me, because I’m quite lazy.


I appreciate your efforts to at least partly be honest with me. Preforming recon in my corporation is a little bit entertaining to me, since we are such a very small corporation….. There’s nothing to declare war against. Your employer should have picked a better target for you. Because when all is said and done, as you have seen, only 2 or 3 of us are active, and if war is declared, all we have to do is dock up at Jita and Station trade until the corporation who war decs us gets tired of paying 100 Million a week to keep us war decc’ed. Seems like your employer would be better off selecting a newer corp with more targets, that’s NOT in an Alliance as we are. It would be cheaper.

That being said, I intend to seperate you from New Haven Enterprises under the reasoning that you were not forth right with your intentions in the corporation, and more so because I feel that your preformance as a Recruiting Director has been poor thus far. (Which I understand since your main focus was recon.)

I won’t split hairs on you being a thief, recon, whatever. The bottom line is, you were being paid by me to recruit for this corp, and instead you were gaining intel. You then lied via omission of the truth, even after confronted at first.

All in all, I harbor no bad feelings. I look at it as a case of a failed pirating attempt, and that happens sometimes. I wish you the best of luck in your next pirating venture. Please let your employer know that a war dec on my corporation would do nothing but be a waste of his own time, resources, and money; but if they wish to dec up, tell them go ahead. No big deal.

It’s been interesting speaking with you AltName, Take care.


Lesson learned on his part – please check API keys before letting someone into the corporation. Because not only did I collect a paycheck for a week or two, I really did deliver intel and get paid for it. When he told me he was an investigator in “real life”, I took that as a challenge to get fired in as interesting a way as possible. Also, yeah, the corp hangars were void of anything worth stealing.

As I pad my “resume” with little corps here or there, I’m still happy to report that the total number of corps that have asked me for an API key (and validated it) prior to joining is: 0.

Also, Gilbert has a nicely fit Hound to play with, too…