Tag Archives: lols

Shit of the Week: Redux 1

I decided to take the wonderful “Shit of the Week” post from Aiden, and have a little bit of fun. I spent a few million (ok, near 16) and fit the Swiss-Army Hurricane with the fitting details. Trying my best to alter nothing and to keep it as true to the original fitting as possible. Here is what I went with:

[Hurricane, Jack of All Trades]

Damage Control I
Beta Hull Mod Nanofiber Structure
Warp Core Stabilizer I
Small Automated Carapace Restoration

Explosive Deflection Amplifier I
Limited Kinetic Deflection Field I
10mn Afterburner I
Republic Fleet Medium Shield Extender

200mm Vulcan AutoCannon I, Arch Angel EMP M
Civilian Gatling AutoCannon, Phased Plasma S
Experimental SV-2000 Rapid Light Missile Launcher, Mjolnir Light Missile
Medium Remote Armor Repair System I
‘Limos’ Rocket Launcher I, no charge
250mm Light Carbine Howitzer I, no charge
Upgraded ‘Malkuth” Heavy Assault Missile Launcher I, no charge

Infiltrator I x2

I decided to post my location and a bounty of 10,000,000 ISK on my own head, to see if I could stir up some pew pew against this awesome jack of all trades fit. I undocked from Dodixie and made my way into lowsec, ending up in the Aeschee system. I had to dock for the night, but returned this afternoon; blasting my location out there on the twitters and getting a few RTs, etc…

Shortly, and unrelated to the tweets, I blew up, while at a gate. I had started to just simply do missions, playing it “safe” and waiting it out… hoping someone would scan me down.

I died in a quickly destroyed ball of fire and managed to get my pod out of there. In opening a conversation with the killer, he noted my fitting was… interesting. I told him of the prize, the tweets, and the posts and sent him and the other involved party 10 Million each.

I enjoyed the bit of interesting fun and look forward to Aiden posting another Shit Fit for me to use, destroy, and laugh about.

Now, I’m off to drink a lot more, scam some courier contracts and cause general mayhem.


Win some, lose some… (scams)

You would be surprised at how often people still fall for the ole “two items for the price of one” scam, or various forms. The recent UI changes (among others) have made it harder to contract scam, imho, but I still find it fun to try sometimes. The below was one of tonight’s conversations.

[02:02:43] Gilbert Hamilton > o/
[02:02:50] Siphre Darine > o/
[02:03:00] Siphre Darine > u need a plex ?
[02:03:06] Gilbert Hamilton > Aye, have contract up.
[02:03:18] Siphre Darine > I have 1
[02:03:39] Gilbert Hamilton > Ok. I’ll send you a link to contract. sec.
[02:03:46] Siphre Darine > k
[02:03:55] Gilbert Hamilton > 470m ok?
[02:04:14] Siphre Darine > k
[02:06:19] Gilbert Hamilton > [Plex]
[02:06:43] Gilbert Hamilton > nice bio details btw
[02:06:48] Siphre Darine > missing some zeros
[02:06:51] Gilbert Hamilton > always forgetting those percentages.
[02:06:54] Siphre Darine > u too
[02:06:55] Gilbert Hamilton > your bio? it’s all in there.
[02:10:14] Siphre Darine > 470 million not thousand
[02:10:36] Gilbert Hamilton > it says 470 million. not sure what you mean.
[02:10:44] Gilbert Hamilton > [Want To Buy]
[02:11:18] Siphre Darine > not for 2
[02:11:38] Gilbert Hamilton > [Want To Buy] It’s not for two.

How many zeros are in the number 70 million?

Apparently, not very many. Just a pastebin convo I found off of the subreddit /r/eve. I have to say, the confusion created by this guy who was trying to scam the scammer is a perfect example of how easy it is to gather tears in this game. Not only that, but the scammer really messed up when he said he works for CCP. That’s a definite “no” in our playbook. You just don’t do that. Like how you don’t can-bait in newbie systems. Or play WoW.

The idea of putting up the same ship, renamed, to confuse the guy is a really good one and one I am going to have to tinker with, later.


Long weekend, good times.

For once we seemed to have a relaxing weekend. People came to visit, and we just seemed to relax as a family. My time in EVE was fun, too. Having ventured into Minmatar space, I was hanging out around Hek and the nearby systems. Managed to run a few missions, get some standing increases and hopefully I will gain a better understanding of resists by race, things like that. I’ve not run many missions, having gone from tutorial to pissing people off.

I need to stop selling some of the tags I steal from people and save them for when I come across a mission which requires one. Or save two or three of them, since they get destroyed upon use.

Did manage to piss off EVE Uni, however. Taught a few people a lesson about jet-cans, missions, and ninjas. I popped out of the station and found 15-20 Uni folks there, waiting for me. Oh noes, my vigil. What ever shall I do?

Ninja tears are always fake. We don’t cry, it’s physically impossible. It’s true. Look it up.

My alt is still in his corp; the one he stole from a while back. This is a good thing. I’m currently looking for my next corporation for him. The long pad of being in this corp will help the next corp believe that I’ve simply been bored as hell in this one, and they can sell to me how awesome and “the shit” their corp is.

Ahh, a new “home”

I had decided last night to move toward an area I had never been before, in an attempt to find less ninja-aware mission runners, etc. So, after I arrived in this system, I began scanning.

There were a few runners, and my 8 probe method seems to work very well at pinning them down. Especially with the advent of “alt+drag moves them all properly” and the scaling methods.

Then my dog decided to chase a fucking skunk and I had to break to fix that. I think, today, I still stink. Oh well.

Anyway – I stole a bunch of loot, but no shooters, at least not in this system. While tooling around, I discovered a jetcan between a Hulk and an Iteron. It was obvious that this was a main/alt combination.

Naturally, I stole from the can and opened a conversation with the player. The can was named “Don’t do that again.” The conversation was short, and so he sent me an email. I followed up with an offering for the wonderful services Suddenly Ninjas brings to other regions across New Eden.

Below is my conversation with him and the small “token” amount sent of only 150,000 ISK was simply because I didn’t feel like putting any work into getting 15 million, etc. My intent was to offer him employment into Suddenly Ninjas – with the usual membership application fees, of course. (Which, for anyone reading is 25 million. Payable to any member of SN.)

Keep in mind, my spam surcharge is set to a value different than the default value – so I’m fleecing him for a little more with each email I can keep him sending back to me. His was still set to the default. It’s a little annoyance I like to keep in there sometimes. The thread is proper if you read from top-down, I’ve reversed it from the usual way it appears.

hi again
From: Vladimir Mayakovsky
Sent: 2011.09.01 02:54
To: Gilbert Hamilton,

You’re very polite for someone looting cans. Are you a scammer? A
pirate? Or just going around making friends? I don’t know eve too well
to guess :D

Re: hi again
From: Gilbert Hamilton
Sent: 2011.09.01 02:58
To: Vladimir Mayakovsky,

No worries. I provide a service, along with the rest of my
corporation. Some consider it “protection”, others really can’t label
it. Such that what we provide is simply a license to operate via those
plain cargo containers (jet cans) and assurance that you are free to
operate as many as you desire, via your hulk, while mining a belt. No
theft will occur, from my corporation or any other in the system as
well. The proof in this is the killboard statistics we offer as backup
and show of our “muscle”.

So, any time you wish to purchase a license – send me a notice and the
sum of 150,000 ISK for the day, or 15,000,000 for a quarter (4 months)
and I will be happy to provide you with receipt.

Good luck to you in your operation!


Re: Re: hi again
From: Vladimir Mayakovsky
Sent: 2011.09.01 03:06
To: Gilbert Hamilton,

Very cool! So you guys are basically like an Eve mafia? That’s pretty
creative. How many customers do you have?

Re: Re: Re: hi again
From: Gilbert Hamilton
Sent: 2011.09.01 03:07
To: Vladimir Mayakovsky,

Active at a given time – a few dozen to about a hundred.


Re: Re: Re: Re: hi again
From: Vladimir Mayakovsky
To: Gilbert Hamilton

How do I pay you? I think it’s silly, but I’ll pay for today just
because it makes me smile.


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: hi again
From: Gilbert Hamilton
To: Vladimir Mayakovsky
Wonderful news! You can pay me via right clicking on my name and
clicking on “give money”. Your price today is that same 150,000 ISK. I
do believe we offer monthly contracts, but I’ll have to check with my
supervisor. Please reference client id: 4435.

Thank you!


Jettisoned Mining Contract (4435.1)
From: Gilbert Hamilton
To: Vladimir Mayakovsky
Vladimir Mayakovsky,

I am please to inform you that your purchase of 1 day (24 hours) of
mining contract protection has been approved. Welcome to the club, and
as always, if you have any questions, feel free to contact me or my
supervisor: Zavulon Sukkot

Your contract information follows:

Date of issue: 9/1
Expiry date: 9/2
Issuer: Gilbert Hamilton
Account: 4435
Contract: 1


-Gilbert Hamilton

How’s the weather?

I’m taking the Cynabal out for a run, today. Scanning down a few mission runners in Agral turned out to be pretty easy once I recognized a good way of arranging seven probes.

Managed to snag a bunch of salvage for the market and loot, too. Only one person shot at me – a rattlesnake. That’s probably a no-go with my cynabal, of course. The transversal at any sort of range against that thing would be near zero and unless my ECM drones did a perfect job, I’d be toast in one or two vollies, I suspect.

However, I did manage to get him to warp away from his mission, return in a hurricane, and shoot at me. He hung around the warp-in point in room two for a while, while I watched him from a bookmark.

In the cynabal, I returned to room 1 and continued to watch him; having positioned myself 20km or so off of the gate. He was being a lazy ass, so I opened a chat window.

[03:14:02] Bushido Ryu > o/
[03:14:07] Gilbert Hamilton > o/
[03:14:19] Gilbert Hamilton > are you enjoying this weather?
[03:14:35] Bushido Ryu > it has it’s ups and downs
[03:14:47] Gilbert Hamilton > certainly. usually between noon and midnight.
[03:14:58] Bushido Ryu > Aye

I just don’t have the brainpower tonight – real life stuff is too much right now. But I am glad to hear the weather is doing him well.


May be late to the game but

Does anyone else find it kinda douche-like that at battleclinic’s website, when clicking on the background image, you get taken right to the “omg sign up for EVE with our buddy program ID in the url” page?